Category Archives: Sue Grafton

Baby, Look at You Now*

BabyLookatYouNow

Yesterday I posted some pictures of famous crime writers when they were young, and invited you to guess who they are. As promised, here are the answers  :-)
 
 
 
Young and Adult Ngaio Marsh

Why, look! That adorable child became the one and only Ngaio Marsh!
 
 
Young and Adult Colin Dexter

And that fine young man grew into…..Colin Dexter!
 
 
Young and Adult Val McDermid

This little lassie could only be…Val McDermid!
 
 
Young and Adult Arthur Conan Doyle

This little boy is none other than…Arthur Conan Doyle! Elementary ;-)
 
 
Young and Adult Patricia Highsmith

This cheerful young lady blossomed into…Patricia Highsmith! Smiles on the outside, but what a skill at inner noir.
 
 
Young and adult Michael Connelly

And this serious young man? Well, when you’re Michael Connelly, you have a lot to think about! All those great plots and characters…
 
 
Young and Adult Agatha Christie

The devious mind behind that innocent face could only belong to…the ‘Queen of Crime,’ Agatha Christie!
 
Young and Adult Ian Rankin

Isn’t that a great ensemble? It’s being modeled for us by…Ian Rankin! Wonder if Rebus ever wore somthing like that…
 
 
Young and Adult Sue Grafton

Sue Grafton got an early start at reading. Doesn’t seem to have done her any harm…
 
 

And finally…
 
Young and Adult Arthur Upfield

That adventurous young man made the most of his travels in his books. Yes, it’s Arthur Upfield!
 

So… how did you do? Did you recognise that greatness for what it is? Thanks for playing! Happy Weekend!

 
 
 

*NOTE: The title of this post is a line from Harry Warren and Johnny Mercer’s You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby.

30 Comments

Filed under Agatha Christie, Arthur Conan Doyle, Arthur Upfield, Colin Dexter, Ian Rankin, Michael Connelly, Ngaio Marsh, Patricia Highsmith, Sue Grafton, Val McDermid

While the Roadies Rig the Video Surveillance Van*

SurveillanceDetectives know that it’s not enough to just ask questions of witnesses and suspects. After all, people lie, or they don’t remember things accurately, or they find it convenient not to mention certain things. So detectives sometimes engage in surveillance. That might involve watching a certain place to see who comes and goes. Or it might involve following a certain person or people. Surveillance is time-consuming and it can be tedious, especially if there are a long periods of inactivity. But it’s a part of many real-life investigations. And it’s a part of crime fiction too. Here are just a few examples to show you what I mean.

Fans of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes will know that he frequently does surveillance. That’s part of the reason for which he keeps somewhat odd hours. Dr. Watson does his share of surveillance too. In one instance, The Adventure of the Solitary Cyclist, Violet Smith hires Holmes to help her solve an odd mystery. She is employed as a piano teacher at Chiltern Grange and lives there during the week. On Fridays she goes to London to visit her mother and on Monday mornings she returns to Chiltern Grange. All goes well enough until one Friday when Violet notices that a man is following her as she rides her bicycle to the train station. On Monday when she returns, the same man follows her from the station towards Chiltern Grange. The man doesn’t get close enough to be physically threatening but Violet is understandably worried. Watson travels to the Chiltern Grange area and takes up a stakeout near the part of the road where Violet has reported seeing this strange man. Sure enough, she is telling the truth. He and Holmes look more closely into the matter and find out that Violet is in a great deal more danger than she might have thought. Surveillance plays a key role in this story.

Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot generally eschews surveillance, preferring to use his ‘little grey cells’ to solve cases. Besides, as he will admit, he doesn’t have the resources to be everywhere at once. So as a rule, he leaves surveillance to others. Yet it still crops up in Christie’s work. For instance in Death in the Clouds (AKA Death in the Air), Marie Morisot, who does business as Madame Giselle, is on a flight from Paris to London. During the flight she suddenly dies of what turns out to be poison. The only possible suspects are the other passengers on the flight, one of whom is Hercule Poirot. He works with Chief Inspector Japp to find out who killed Madame Giselle and why. One of the other passengers is London hair stylist’s assistant Jane Grey. She’s not a very likely suspect but of course, being mixed up in a murder case does impact her. One evening she and another passenger Norman Gale are having dinner when they notice that yet another passenger is at the same restaurant. He is detective novelist Mr. Clancy, whom the police already suspect (after all, we know that mystery novelists are quite suspicious ;-) ). On impulse Grey and Gale decide to follow Mr. Clancy and see where he goes after he finishes his meal. It’s a funny set of scenes as they practice the art of discreetly following someone. And Mr. Clancy certainly acts suspiciously…

Sue Grafton’s PI Kinsey Millhone occasionally does investigative work for California Fidelity Insurance Company, in exchange for which she has the use of office space in their suite. One of the sub-plots of A is for Alibi concerns a California Fidelity case that Millhone takes on. Marcia Threadgill is claiming disability related to a fall, and the insurance company wants Millhone to follow up on that claim. The idea is that Millhone will ‘rubber stamp’ the insurance company’s approval of the payout. So Millhone follows Threadgill, takes ‘photos and observes her carefully. What she finds is that Threadgill is committing insurance fraud. The original claim was credible enough for the company to be prepared to pay; it takes surveillance to prove that it was fraudulent.

Alexander McCall Smith’s No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency series features Mma. Precious Ramotswe, a private detective who does her share of surveillance in her way. But in The Good Husband of Zebra Drive it’s her husband Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni who does the surveillance. Much as he loves his work as the owner of Tlokweng Road Speedy Motors, he’s been looking for something a little different to do from time to time. He gets his chance when a new client Faith Botumile wants to hire Mma. Ramotswe’s agency. She believes that her husband has been unfaithful and wants to know who the other woman is. Mma. Ramotswe happens to be out when Mma. Botumile arrives, and Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni takes down the information. Since he is the one who had the first contact with the client, Mma. Ramotswe thinks it makes sense for him to follow up on the case. Mma. Botumile is rude, harshly critical and unpleasant, and Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni can well understand how the husband of a woman like her might stray. But she is a client so he takes up working on the case. Part of his task is following Mr. Botumile to find out what he does after work. So Mr. J.L.B. Matakoni does that, and turns up some surprising results.

It isn’t just private investigators who conduct surveillance. The police do their share of it too. Let me just give two examples. In one plot thread of Jane Casey’s The Burning, DC Maeve Kerrigan and her colleagues at the Met are on the trail of a killer whom the press has dubbed the Burning Man because he tries to destroy his victims’ bodies with fire. At one point the police catch a man they think is the murderer, but then another body is discovered. So they have to start over again. After more time goes by with no real leads, it’s decided to set up a surveillance operation in a local park – the sort of place that has so far appealed to the killer. Kerrigan joins one of the surveillance teams and everyone settles in for a long night. With one of the cops serving as ‘bait,’ everyone watches and waits. It’s a really interesting depiction of how cold, uncomfortable and frustrating surveillance can be. And how dangerous it can be. It’s little wonder that the cops don’t generally set up large-scale surveillance operations on a whim.

In Katherine Howell’s Silent Fear, New South Wales Police Detective Ella Marconi and her team investigate the murder of Paul Fowler. He’s tossing a football around with a few friends one afternoon when he’s shot. Part of the process of finding out who killed Fowler is talking to everyone in his life, including his ex-wife Trina. The police duly interview her, but although she talks to them, it’s soon clear that she’s hiding something. It could be something relatively innocent, but the police can’t risk the chance. And Trina is good at keeping her own counsel. So it’s decided to follow her, to find out where she goes and whom she sees, and to follow up on any of her ‘phone calls. That surveillance proves to be very useful in solving the Fowler case.

And that’s the thing about surveillance. It can be frustrating and time-consuming, even with modern CCTV cameras. But it can also yield important information. These are only a few examples (I know, I know, fans of Rex Stout’s Archie Goodwin, Saul Panzer, Fred Durkin and Orrie Cather). Your turn.

 

 
 

*NOTE: The title of this post is a line from They Might Be Giants’ Working Undercover For the Man.

31 Comments

Filed under Agatha Christie, Alexander McCall Smith, Arthur Conan Doyle, Jane Casey, Katherine Howell, Rex Stout, Sue Grafton

Sometimes You Want to Go Where Everybody Knows Your Name*

Local RestaurantsJust about every town seems to have places where the local people gather. And in cities, different neighbourhoods have their own little cafés or restaurants that attract ‘regulars.’ If you have one of those places near you, then you know how they can add to the richness of an area. They can be good places to catch up on the gossip and meet up with friends. In crime fiction, they’re useful in a number of other ways too. They’re good places to show not tell something about the sleuth’s personal life. They’re also good places for the sleuth to hear things that can be helpful in a given investigation. And for the author, they can be very useful for bringing characters together without it seeming too contrived.

One of best-known of these crime-fictional cafés is Rosie’s, which is a regular haunt for Sue Grafton’s Kinsey Millhone. The food at Rosie’s would never be confused with gourmet cooking. But for one thing, Millhone is not really particular about her food, and she’d rather eat out than cook. And the atmosphere at Rosie’s is informal and relaxed, which also suits Millhone. Here’s what she says about the place in A is for Alibi:

 

‘The place appeals to me for a couple of reasons. Not only is it close to my home but it is never attractive to tourists, which means that most of the time it’s half-empty and perfect for private conversations. Then, too, Rosie’s cooking is inventive, a sort of devil-may-care cuisine with a Hungarian twist.’

 

Millhone sometimes meets clients there, but even when she doesn’t, the scenes at Rosie’s show the reader an interesting side of Millhone’s character.

Also a relaxed and informal local watering hole is the Busy Bee Café, one of the haunts of Craig Johnson’s Sheriff Walt Longmire. The Bee, as it’s often called, is one of the social hubs of Durant, Wyoming, and Longmire often hears helpful gossip when he’s there. It’s also a good place to meet up with people. The Bee also provides the food for anyone who happens to be in the county jail. Here’s the way it’s described in Death Without Company:

 

‘The Busy Bee was in a small, concrete-block building that clung to the banks of Clear Creek through the tenacity of its owner and the strength of its biscuits and spiced gravy. Dorothy Caldwell had owned and operated the Bee since Christ had been a cowboy. I [Longmire] ate there frequently and, due to its proximity to the jail, so had our infrequent lodgers.’

 

The food at the Bee is ‘down home’ comfort food, and Dorothy Caldwell is very accommodating about putting takeaway meals together if Longmire is going out of town. Longmire also knows that if someone calls him while he’s eating there, Dorothy will put the call through. It’s that kind of place.

Another very appealing local gathering place (at least to me) is Colourful Mary’s, a regular stop for Anthony Bidulka’s Russell Quant. Quant is a Saskatoon PI who, because he’s not a cop, often relies on local networks to get information that he needs for his cases. And Colourful Mary’s draws many of Saskatoon’s local residents. Here’s how it’s described in Amuse Bouche:

 

‘Colourful Mary’s is Saskatoon’s only publicly admitted gay-run restaurant, but over the years it has developed a wide range of loyal clientele…Marushka cooks like everyone’s mother, most notably her own. In addition to some rather standard fare for the less adventurous, Marushka always adds one or two Ukrainian delicacies to the daily menu…I like Colourful Mary’s…You feel cared for but not smothered. I’m also addicted to Marushka’s cooking.’

 

Colourful Mary’s may be a little more upmarket than the Busy Bee is, but it’s a comfortable, welcoming place. And Quant gets very useful information there at times.

Many of Louise Penny’s Chief Inspector Armand Gamache novels take place in the small Québec town of Three Pines. Three Pines may be small, but it’s got Olivier’s Bistro. In Still Life the bistro is referred to as

 

‘…the Central Station of Three Pines,’

 

and that’s an accurate description. The Bistro/ B & B is owned by Olivier Brulé and his partner Gabriel Dubeau, and as Gamache learns early in this series, it is in many ways the heart, soul and social hub of Three Pines. Gamache and his team certainly learn as much from the time they spend there as they do interviewing witnesses. And of course, the food is delicious.

One of Kerry Greenwood’s series features Corinna Chapman, a baker who lives and works in a large Melbourne building called Insula. One of the businesses in the same building is Café Delicious, run by the Pandamus family. It’s a comfortable sort of place that’s popular with several of the building’s regulars. For instance, Chapman’s assistant Jason Wallace frequently does justice to the food there. Here’s what Chapman says about it in Heavenly Pleasures:

 

‘There is always good money to be made at Café Delicious by betting how long it is going to take my thin scrap of a Jason to eat his way through three eggs (fried), three sausages, three rashers of bacon, two grilled tomatoes, a stack of toast and two hash browns or potato pancakes, depending on whether Grandma Pandamus or the Hungarian relief cook Kristina is dishing out the food. His record is three minutes…’

 

Of course, Jason is a teenager. But still…

And then there’s Rusterman’s Restaurant, which Rex Stout fans will know is one of the few restaurants Nero Wolfe visits, and just about the only one he visits with any regularity. And even then it’s only for an occasional meal. And with a chef like Fritz Brenner in his employ, why should Wolfe go out to eat? His willingness to eat at Rusterman’s should tell readers something about the quality of the food there.

There are also several series, including Riley Adams’ (AKA Elizabeth Spann Craig) Memphis Barbecue series, that are based around local haunts. In those cafés and restaurants, we get to meet the ‘regulars’ in the series, and the settings are effective ways for the authors to get the sleuth involved in cases.

 

Now if you’ll excuse me, all of this talk about local haunts and places to eat have got me feeling a bit hungry. Think I’ll go down the street and see who’s at the café…

Happy Weekend, everyone!

 

 
 

*NOTE: The title of this post is a line from Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo’s Where Everybody Knows Your Name.

16 Comments

Filed under Anthony Bidulka, Craig Johnson, Elizabeth Spann Craig, Kerry Greenwood, Louise Penny, Rex Stout, Riley Adams, Sue Grafton

Come On, Come On, Let’s Work Together*

Cops and PIsMost PI’s, whether real or fictional, find their jobs easier if they develop some sort of relationship with the police in their area. The PI/police relationship is mutually beneficial in a lot of obvious ways, so you would think it’d fall out naturally. But that’s not always the case. If you look at crime fiction, you see that while PIs and police do co-operate – sometimes very well – they are also sometimes at odds with each other. Sometimes it’s a matter of ‘patch wars,’ sometimes it’s a personal dislike, and sometimes it’s a perception of one side or the other as incompetent or worse. And sometimes it’s simply the friction you get with two different perspectives on the same case. But amicable, bitter or somewhere in between, the relations between PIs and cops make for an interesting layer in crime novels.

Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes doesn’t dislike the cops because they are police officers. As a matter of fact, he knows the police are important. But he has absolutely no patience with lack of deduction and logic. And all too often, the police, from Holmes’ perspective, allow themselves to be led astray by superficial clues. In fact he’s not above calling them ‘imbeciles.’ There are a few cops, such as Tobias Gregson, with whom Holmes works reasonably well. But he has no patience with the glory-grabbing arrogance and narrow-mindedness that he all too often sees in the police. For their part, the police often see Holmes as meddlesome and conceited about his own ability. It’s an interesting dynamic that runs through the Holmes stories.

Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot has a different kind of relationship with the police. Poirot fans will know that he is a former cop himself, so he understands the job as an ‘outsider’ couldn’t. And in general, he does have a positive relationship with the police. He and Chief Inspector Japp have had many adventures together and although Japp makes more than one remark about Poirot’s conceit and his ‘tortuous’ mind, he knows Poirot is brilliant and usually right. For his part, Poirot respects Japp. He knows Japp’s a skilled detective and an ethical one who can’t be ‘bought.’ In fact, when he’s working with Japp he doesn’t worry about following up certain kinds of leads, because he knows Japp has the resources and skills to do it. It’s not just Japp either. As we learn in Mrs. McGinty’s Dead, Poirot respects other cops too if they are skilled and do their jobs well. In that novel, Superintendent Spence asks Poirot to re-open a case he himself investigated. Poirot agrees partly because he knows that Spence is a good cop. If Spence thinks there’s something more to the case than it seems on the surface, then there is. Of course, Poirot isn’t always on good terms with the police. In The Murder on the Links, he finds Sûreté Inspector Giraud so insufferable, conceited and arrogant that he dislikes him heartily and actually enjoys besting him when the two make a bet as to who can solve a murder case first.

Raymond Chandler’s Philip Marlowe has a very interesting and complex relationship with the police. On the one hand, he has been known to enter homes and offices in a not-exactly-legal way. More than once, too, he lets people believe he’s with the police, although of course he’s not. And he is not afraid to expose cops who are unethical or who cover for those who are. So in that sense you could say he can be a proverbial thorn in the side of the police force. But Marlowe is pragmatic and so are the cops. Each knows that the other can be very helpful and in the long run, Marlow works in the interest of justice. As John Paul Athanasourelis has said,

 

‘..his ultimate goals are congruent with those of good cops…’

 

One might argue that when Marlowe is in conflict with the police, it’s not because they are police. It’s because they are in the way of the justice system working as it should.

Anthony Bidulka’s Russell Quant is a former Saskatoon cop. So he knows what it’s like to do police work. What’s more, he still knows people on the force. For example, Darren Kirsch is one of the people on the Saskatoon Police Service who still return his calls. Here’s what Quant says about the police/PI relationship in Amuse Bouche:

 

‘Most cops, and I know because I used to be one, think private investigators are unprofessional moneygrubbers that will suck information out of you and give nothing back in return. And sometimes this is true. But I knew if I wanted to make a go of being a private detective, I’d need some friends in the police department. And a smart cop would know that being friendly with a detective who wasn’t employed by the city and was out there on the streets was not altogether a bad idea either.’ 

 

And that basically describes Quant’s relationship with Kirsch and the rest of the police. They help each other and they do share information. And he and Kirsch have a history, so they have a kind of friendship. It’s not really what you’d call a full-on partnership, but there is I think mutual respect.

Jill Edmondson’s Toronto-based PI Sasha Jackson also knows that it’s to her benefit to work with the police. She isn’t a former cop, so she doesn’t have the ‘in’ that Quant does. But she has a friend Mark Houghton who is a member of the Toronto Police Service. The two dated very briefly years earlier but now their co-operation is professional. As Sasha puts it in Dead Light District,

 

‘Although Mark and I weren’t close enough to be friends, we certainly were solid acquaintances and had a healthy respect for each other professionally.’

 

That respect means that the two of them do share information and help each other. Not that they never disagree or get on each other’s nerves, but it’s not the stereotypical mutual feeling of contempt.

The same might be said of Sara Paretsky’s V.I. Warshawski. Her father was a police officer, so she has a lot of contacts among Chicago’s police. And Warshawski has respect for ethical cops who do their jobs well.  In fact, one of them, Bobby Mallory, still looks out for her in his way. Here’s what he says to Warshawski in Indemnity Only.

 

‘I think you’re a pain in the butt…But you’re not a fool.’

 

And then later in that conversation,

 

‘You’ve made a career out of something which no nice girl would touch, but you’re no dummy.’

 

As the series moves on, Warshawski and Mallory work together more than once and although he does feel sometimes overly protective of her, he also learns that she is both capable and competent.

There’s also of course Sue Grafton’s Kinsey Millhone, who was a cop for two years before she left the force. One regular contact she has is Detective Cheney Phillips. Over the years the two have come to respect each other and work well together. Fans of the series will know that they have an intimate relationship for a time, too. But even though that’s over, they’ve learned that each can be helpful to each other. Interestingly enough, they also know that neither tells the other everything about a given investigation. In Phillips’ case it’s often because of policy. In Millhone’s case it’s because she doesn’t always do things – ahem – by the book.

Angela Savage’s Bangkok-based PI Jayne Keeney knows all too well that the Thai police are not always, shall we say, fearless fighters of crime and corruption. In fact in Behind the Night Bazaar, she has to work hard to get beyond the official police explanation of the death of her friend Didier ‘Didi’ de Montpasse. There are other examples too in this series of instances where the police would very much rather Keeney left a case alone. But Keeney also knows that it’s quite dangerous to go up against the cops. She also knows that the police are extremely pragmatic. If they see it as working to their benefit to give Keeney information or to use information she gives them, they will. So instead of getting into an outright conflict, Keeney finds ways to make interactions with the police work for both parties. Keeney’s relationship with the cops is much more quid pro quo than it is mutual respect, admiration or friendship. That dynamic makes for an interesting thread of tension in the series.

There are a lot of other good examples of PI/police relations in crime fiction. It’s a fascinating dynamic. Which do you like best?

 

 
 

*NOTE: The title of this post is a line from Wilbert Harrison’s Let’s Work Together. I like Canned Heat’s version of this one too.

22 Comments

Filed under Agatha Christie, Angela Savage, Anthony Bidulka, Arthur Conan Doyle, Jill Edmondson, Raymond Chandler, Sara Paretsky, Sue Grafton

When Sleuths Need to Get Away ;-)

Travel AgenciesWith today’s world getting more and more digital, lots of people don’t use travel agencies the way they once did. But people do still visit travel agents sometimes, especially when they’re planning more complicated trips or need some guidance about their travel options. So I was thinking (careful – I think in an odd way… ;-) ), what would happen if some famous fictional sleuths visited a travel agent? Now, before we go any further, you may want to put aside that heavy burden of disbelief for a short time. That said, here are some…

 

Trips These Sleuths Will Probably Not Take

 

I

 

Travel Agent: How may I help you?
Client: Ah yes. I would like to plan a holiday. London, it is not pleasant at this time of year.
Travel Agent: How right you are! Well, we’ve a marvellous new travel option. I’m sure you’ll find it delightful. It’s our special Australian tour.
Client: Australia? That interests me greatly. I have never been there.
Travel Agent: Wonderful! Let me tell you about the tour. Fourteen days in Australia’s Outback. You’ll get to see some rare and wonderful animals and plants, hike around in some of the world’s really beautiful country, and stay in some delightful encampments, just like the local Aborigines do. You even get to visit the famous Ayers Rock formation! The natives call it Uluru, I believe.  You’ll have your meals outdoors in the open air, and …well, it’s a true back-to-nature holiday. Shall I arrange it for you?
Hercule Poirot (Agatha Christie): Erm….perhaps not.

 

II
 

Travel Agent: Good morning, what can I do for you?
Client: Good morning, Rra. I would like to plan a short holiday. I have been working very hard at my business these last months, and it is time for a rest.
Travel Agent: You have come to the right place, Mma. We at Super Excellent Tours are here to serve you. Now, what sort of holiday interests you?
Client: I have heard some good things about America.
Travel Agent: Then I have the perfect holiday for you. A week in Las Vegas is exactly what you need. Just imagine! All kinds of nightclubs where there is exciting music and dancing that you would not believe! There are wonderful restaurants and casinos too.
Client: Casinos?
Travel Agent: Oh, yes, you can gamble all night long if you want, and there are beautiful waitresses who will bring you as much to drink as you want. I went there myself. I have never seen so much neon and glitter in my life. A true playground for adults. Now, shall I book you on our extra-special Las Vegas Dream Trip?
Mma. Ramotswe (Alexander McCall Smith): Well…perhaps you can show me something else?

 

III
 

Travel Agent: Hello, what can I do for you?
Client: I’d like to plan a getaway sort of trip. My boss and I have been awful busy lately, so I’m thinking he needs a break. So do I.
Travel Agent: I know just what you mean. So let’s see… here’s something interesting. How about our Grand Canyon Tour? Can’t get much further away from it all than there.
Client: Never been there, but I’ve heard the weather’s great.
Travel Agent: Sure is! Never rains there or anything. Gets hot in the summer, but hey, that’s how it is all over the place, right? Let me tell you about the tour. A week at the Grand Canyon. It includes a great mule-ride trip into the canyon and out. And you camp in the canyon for two nights. Oh, and there’s a visit to a local Indian Reservation too. Your boss’ll love it!
Archie Goodwin (Rex Stout): Y’know, I don’t think he will…

 

IV
 

Travel Agent: Good afternoon, how can I help you?
Client: I’ve got a couple of weeks of holiday time coming up, and I thought I’d make use of them. Think it’s time for me to get away for a bit.
Travel Agent: Well, then, let’s get started with your planning. What sort of trip did you have in mind?
Client: Definitely out of the UK. Maybe a visit to France, that sort of thing?
Travel Agent: Got it. I have just the thing for you. Forget the Chunnel and a few days on the other side. Let me tell you about our exclusive Riviera package. It’s really quite elegant. It costs a bit, I’m afraid, but you do get what you pay for. This one features a stay at a lovely place in Monaco, where you get to gamble with the rich and famous. And there’s a fabulous yacht dinner option that is absolutely out of this world. If I might say so, we’ve had several celebrities that I’m sure you’ve heard of take this tour. State dinner chic, bluebloods and enchantment all the way, so you’ll want to bring your best clothes (pointed look at the client’s outfit). What do you say?
Barbara Havers (Elizabeth George): Umm…maybe not…

 

V

 

Travel Agent: Hello, what can I do for you today?
Client: I promised my teenage daughter we’d take a trip together. My job keeps me busy and we don’t get to spend the time together that I’d like. So I told her we’d go away somewhere special.
Travel Agent: What a great idea! Did you have a particular place in mind?
Client: Not really. Just somewhere different – somewhere exotic maybe.
Travel Agent (snapping fingers): I’ve got it! Have you ever been to Hong Kong? It’s beautiful! Lots of wonderful restaurants, world-class shopping, exotic places to visit, a great climate, the whole thing. Oh, and I can arrange for you and your daughter to take a special guided tour of the city – even to places the tourists don’t get to see. (Noticing client’s facial expression) And don’t worry. It’s perfectly safe.
Harry Bosch (Michael Connelly): Maybe someplace a little less exotic…

 

VI

 

Travel Agent: Hi, there, how can I help you?
Client: I’ve been feeling the need for a break. You know how it is. So I figured it’s time to get away.
Travel Agent: Of course. Everyone needs a break sometimes. Now, what sort of trip did you have in mind?
Client: Well, I’m not a hundred per cent sure, but I was thinking maybe a cruise.
Travel Agent: That’s a great idea. There are a lot of wonderful cruises that leave from this area. I’m sure we can find one that suits you. Hmmm…(clicks on computer keyboard for a moment). Here’s a terrific one! It’s a special ‘Gourmet Cooking’ cruise to Hawai’i and back. The whole focus is on preparing and serving fine food, so some world-class chefs will be along to give classes and demonstrations. And of course there’ll be plenty of delicious meals too.
Client: Hmm…I’m not sure about that. What else do you have?
Travel Agent: Let me see… Oh, here’s our ‘Runway Runners’ cruise. It’s a sort of preview for the fall and spring fashion seasons. There are designers from all over the world who show their creations, and one of the big features is the ‘Catwalk Contest’ where passengers create their own designs. Doesn’t that sound like fun?
Kinsey Millhone (Sue Grafton): Uh…maybe I’ll just take a drive up the coast…

 

What’s next? Will Colin Dexter’s Inspector Morse be urged to go to Disney World? ;-)

28 Comments

Filed under Agatha Christie, Alexander McCall Smith, Colin Dexter, Elizabeth George, Michael Connelly, Rex Stout, Sue Grafton