I’m always on the lookout for new technology to help make it easier and more enjoyable for crime writers to do what they do, and for crime fiction readers to enjoy good crime novels. And you know what I’ve noticed? Keyboards. That’s right, keyboards. They’re not always well-designed so that we in the crime fiction world can make the most use of them. So I’ve decided to step in and help. What you’re about to see is the new fully web-integrated CrimeNovel Keyboard! It’s custom-made for the crime writer and for the crime reader. See what you think.
CrimeNovel Keyboard For Crime Writers
As you can see, this keyboard is custom-designed with you in mind. Just take a look. Instead of the usual function buttons, you’ll see there are buttons that are far more useful. Each of the buttons at the top of the keyboard links to a different sort of murder method, and takes the crime writer to all sorts of useful information about that method. No sense getting it wrong, is there?
Now, just take a look at some of the other buttons. You can easily click on the last scene you wrote. And who needs the ‘Caps Lock’ button when you can simply insert tense and meaningful dialogue? Just below that key is the ‘Point of View’ key, so that you can instantly change the point of view you’re using in your manuscript as you go along. And see that green check at the bottom of the keyboard? Just click and your manuscript is checked for consistency! No more characters who have two or three different names, or problems with your timeline! The button right next to it checks your manuscript against hundreds of other books to help you avoid hackneyed plots and stereotyped characters. And since it’s always important for the writer to know, at least every 5 minutes, if there’ve been any new reviews posted, there’s an easy-to-use ‘A’ button that links you to all reviews of your books.
The rest of the keyboard is just as handy.
The three keys at the top left allow you functionality you never imagined. You can save creative ideas for cover design, take a break now and again for a social media check or a game of Bejeweled Blitz, and even set an alarm to take you instantly back to your manuscript after 5, 10, or 15 minutes.
The next row of keys is also quite useful. No more losing those 2AM fantastic ideas! The light bulb button lets you save them with a simple voice recording. They may sound a bit garbled the next morning, but they’ll be saved. Of course….sometimes you do have to go back to the beginning of a manuscript, and the ‘Start Over’ button lets you do just that. Completely dissatisfied with your work? Just shred it and begin again! Ready to submit? There’s a handy ‘Submit’ button too.
And always with an eye to accuracy, this keyboard allows you to check legal precedent, private investigator practice and police procedures with just a few convenient pushes of a button. Couldn’t be easier!!
CrimeNovel Keyboard For Crime Fiction Readers
Crime fiction readers, you haven’t been forgotten! There’s now a specially-designed keyboard just for you! Have a look.
Instead of those old ‘function’ buttons, here are some really useful ones – instant reaction buttons! This keyboard offers the full range of review ratings, too. There’s everything from the ‘Desert Island’ button all the way to irritation and anger. Whatever your rating is, it’s here!
The buttons on the left side of the keyboard are fully optimised so that you can instantly click open the blogs you read the most, be warned when your TBR is at the maximum number you set, and copy memorable quotes from your current read. What better way to keep them for later when you’re writing your review?
At the bottom, you’ll see convenient buttons for checking your TBR, checking your book budget, and adding books to your wish list. Ready to order a book? Click the convenient purchase button! Book lovers who use other vendors can have another key substituted… for a fee…
A quick look at the other side of the keyboard shows you even more of what makes this such a useful little tool.
On the top you’ll see buttons that let you specify things such as violence level, body count, quality of characters, ‘plotholes,’ suspense level, enjoyment level and wit. Very useful to help you write those reviews! Want an author’s back catalogue? Just click the handy button and you get a complete list in order of publication (‘though not necessarily in order of translation…). There are also buttons to notify you when it’s time for a cup of your beverage of choice, or time to order in food, so you don’t have to interrupt your reading. Want to post your review immediately to your blog? There’s a button for that too! And what about those DNF books? Simply use the shredder button to create exactly the review such a book deserves.
The bottom of the keyboard allows you to send your thoughts directly to the author or submit them to public review sites. There’s even a handy alarm to remind you to go to work, take dinner out of the oven or pick your kids up from school.
You’ll quickly find that the CrimeNovel Keyboard helps you in dozens of different ways, whether you write crime fiction, read it, or both. And for those of you who use tablets? No worries – it’s going to be available very soon in a convenient app.
What do you think? Sound like a marketable idea? ;-)